The documentary, Chasing My Father’s Shadow, began in Professor Karen Schmidt’s Child Psychology course as a research assignment exploring the cause and effect of paternal absence on the development of a child’s identity and psychological well-being from a
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psychodynamic perspective. The lessons I learned in Child Psychology this semester opened my eyes to the possibility of becoming a better father by ending the cycle of paternal absence that has been my inheritance. In the context of the classroom, I began a new passage in my life. By undertaking this exploration, I traveled a road leading me through self-discovery to forgiveness. My role as father to my daughter Anna has never been more important to me than it is now. As I see her grow, I am all the more committed to being a father; one that is not only present but fully engaged in the development of her hopes and dreams. She is the inspiration for this project and the reason for me to finally heal. As my research progressed I began to realize that the search for my own identity was leading me back again and again to my role as father and afforded me the opportunity to begin the difficult process of healing catharsis. In my father’s absence, I also became an absent father. I learned the importance of a father’s influence in the social, emotional and intellectual development of children. Even though I will never get back the missed moments of my daughter’s childhood, I understand that it is not too late for me to be a father to her now. The parental skills I developed as a result of taking Professor Schmidt’s class will last a lifetime and have assisted me in re-establishing a meaningful relationship with my daughter.
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