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Originally encountered at SomaCow.com In this hour, we talk about Ross s dereliction of dress, we congratulate our new Listener of the Month, and a bunch of other loosey goosey. RUFF RUFF RUFF

Originally posted at SomaCow.com In this hour, brought to you by HealingRoni Pizza Delivery, I came to a startling realization. I had just kicked a key member of my show off, and it wasn t J! I was struck with the situation, namely, I had just sent Ross packing, he was already out the door, and I knew I had made a mistake. One of my greatest failings (there are many, stick around and try to make a list sometime) is that I rarely consider motive when I am upset. I am great at looking at the world through detached eyes, calmly surmising people and their actions and determining why they do the things they do. Or at least, that is what the tests I took on Spark told me in the nineties. But when I am angry, miffed, peeved, slighted, insulted, chagrined, embarrassed, threatened, irritated, or pissy, all I see is red. I acted in haste, seeing Ross as out of line, and now what the hell was I going to do? For the first time in SomaCow history, a new show did not start at the top of the hour. I went out of the studio, and found Jen. She was shocked, confused as to why things had gotten so serious, and she said Ross was already gone. I walked outside, with Mickey and J close behind (it was an opportunity for them to have an unscheduled smoke break, maybe?). I looked down the U of my street, left and right No Ross. No car. Did he walk? How the hell had he vanished so quickly? I knew I needed to call him. If I let it go to tomorrow, the bones would set that way, and there would be no repairing the damage done. I whipped out the iPhone, and immediately scanned Twitter. it just got real. ON Somacow. - ELROSS Well what the hell did THAT mean? I called Ross. Hey, Ross? Hey Where are you? Driving I was rapidly losing ground. I knew that if this call ended all jilted and stilted, I d have to side with my ego, and began the laborious process of walling myself off from Ross. I played back the last year plus of our friendship. Ross and Gary, Ross and Halloween Horror Nights, Ross in a suit atop a bar in downtown Orlando, Ross at my garage sale, buying comics for the kid, and really just assuaging my wife with her pregnancy fears. Ross at dinner, Ross talking to me about impending fatherhood, Ross giving advice on Birthing Centers, Ross giving advice on B4D, Ross shoving us to a tweetup, where we met great peeps. Hours of Ross, handling production, getting guests in and TFO of the studio, calling shows pimping SomaCow, bringing over snacks, bitting with J, giving me shit about smoking because he doesn t think I should die, Ross at Target, Ross and his many and varied Beard Competitions, Ross Ross Ross. I couldn t let him go. So I hatched a plan: You can t leave. There s Pizza coming. I know he saw through it. Mickey, J, Ross and I had a moment, there in that driveway. Why do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw all the sudden? In this hour, we discussed the Tweetup at Eden at the Enzian, chatted with Etanowitz of the Orlando Sentinel, talked about gay bars, and patched hearts.

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by PrimetimeGeek.com - Felix is purported to have sped across the convention center, nabbing interviews and swag aplenty of the recent Orlando FX con, so, all you connie types, Con Up. In this hour, we celebrated two years of phenomenal, swollen, and delicious podcasting. I did not know back then what the show would evolve into, but I like where it is going. One of our listeners has recently decided to go back and listen to the first 100 episodes of the show, and upon taking an earful of that Holy Johnnycakes, man. There is a significant difference from what we did in 2007 versus what we do now. In the past, I would rant and rave about THE THOUSAND INJURIES suffered at the hands of society I had borne, Mickey would tell long-winded stories about Steel, the Navy, Georgia, moving from Georgia to escape Steel and join the Navy, hating and loving the Navy while serving on a Steel boat and glad to be rid of Georgia, and Boobs. J would sit in silence, watching our furious back and forth and occasionally coughing between News Bombs. Now, the show is a snap whiz sheboingo of  me ranting and raving about perceived injustices great and small, Mickey telling long winded stories about Alloys, Georgia, and his service in The Military. J now has a cough button, and he talks over us more. Oh, and we added Ross, a polarizing producer and twitterer extraordinaire that does a fine job of whatever it is that he does here, because it sure as hell isn t making a decent cup of coffee. I am really not kidding. Everyone remembers the incident , when he salted my drink seconds before a show, then played innocent, stating that he thought a giant container brimming with white crystals beside the coffee maker would contain only sweet minerals. This time, he tokes his way into my kitchen, Bob Marley music humming in his head, and ladles spoiled cream (like, spoiled in March, and this is April) into my java. The dude is trying to kill me. I thought it was his way of trying to get me to get my own coffee , but, the weird thing is that he ALWAYS offers to get it for me. Lord knows how much Rosspittle is floating in my stomach by now. Freak. So, yes, we ve morphed, changed, and continue to become whatever it is we are. I lose weight, Mickey starts drinking again, J is a rock, never changing, always late, and Ross is coming into his own as content contributor and host-poisoner. It s fun, this show! Our new Studio G continues to be constructed, with the electrician scheduled for this week, hopefully to be wrapped up before Friday. Hope you have enjoyed the last two years. Without one missed show, always fresh content, three days a week, 52 weeks a year, even on Holidays. Did you use Napster? You pirate, you, Arrrr. If you haven t already, check out this. SomaCow, we may be funny or sad, we may be interesting or dull But we are, at all times, consistent. And persistent. And perspiring. Seriously. That studio is an OVEN.

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by twitter.com/comasowjen. She does a lot around here, and only gets credit for the mistakes and mishaps. We apologize for that. In this hour, we take time out to apologize to our listeners, each other, society at large, puppies great and small, heteros, and any gypsies we may have misaligned. It isn t really our fault, we re just large that way. J s Newsbomb picked up a sponsor! Foofa s ermm . two way petting zoo? Okay, maybe that was a lark, but I hear tell next week the Newsbomb will be sponsored by twitter.com/ihateelross? Jesus! I guess we can make our fortune off of listener vendettas Why not? We have a lot to be sorry for, between blathering about points (oh! That reminds me! March s giveaway is in just a few days, so if you are going to make the cut and win the $50.00 from Amazon, you might want to get to it asap, pdq, rtfn, etc.) to dodging Ross s tale about his dead aunt. I know we will find a way to fit it in this week, Ross, I promise! If you know of a way Mickey can apologize to our listeners for his purporting of a false rumor regarding gasoline prices, please let me know at moo@somacow.com - I know he does not want to pump gas in a puffy paint shirt. Maybe he can just clean windshields, or install extra ram, or blow on soup to cool it for you guys. Just say the word, cause Lord knows we aims to please. Our new forum is swollen with members, 50 joined on last week, so if you want to discuss topics we talk about here, or your own individual unground axes, swing by and log in and get wordy with it. I look forward to hearing from you, and really appreciate everyone that has joined up already. Thanks!

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you this week by O boys and Curtis Earth Trivia. Two great tastes! Ross came in a little late this week but all he missed in the notes was some talk about him being late But we don t blame him too much, after all the night before was his birthday party where trivia and beer abounded! He came in and jumped right on his job and then handed out beer. That took away a bit of the pain of him being late. Good call, Ross! Geoff, Mickey and I (not J) got him some funky beer from Total Wine which is a mecca of alcohol! Thank god for dear friends having birthdays so we could check out this place. And thank god for those dear friends sharing it with us. Speaking of dear friends, we sure do miss the hell out of one big bastard. Come home lil doggy! Have you ever had sun tea? It s a tradition or a staple what is that word? Well, we do it here in the south! You take tea but instead of making it inside you put it outside in the sun. My mom used to do this all the time but I didn t like tea at the time. Why don t northerners make sun tea? They still could, for a few weeks each August? I guess we just do it more often here since we can do it all but a week in January and a week in February. And in other things the south just does better (yes, I m trying to rile you all up, come on Yankees!) At Ross s party we had a thing called a rib nibbler. They were little bite size chunks of rib (bone-in) and they were GOOD. I didn t try the ribs but from what I hear these were better than their specialty of baby back ribs! They didn t even need any dressing. Speaking of dressing, Paul Newman died. I d say it was bad that current generations knew him more for his salad dressing but he has stated that he enjoyed that more and he made more money for it so good for him! We did lose a good liberal in that man though. RIP Mr Newman. I thought I had finally found something to pick on Ross for as there was no music listed but then I remembered from listening live Saturday from 1-4 PM Eastern, that there was no music as we had a twitter pal of Ross call in! Thanks for the great call Mister32. Related articles by Zemanta Farewell Paul Newman

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by Poison Control. I am disgusted, just thinking about it. Go ahead and listen, and ask yourself Just who IS this Ross guy?

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by A Space That Works. In this, our finest hour, we had a special guest in the studio, Suzanna from A Space That Works. With her we discuss how she got into this business, what stereotypes come out in people she s helped, and how she can help us. Suzanna used to be a messy girl but has reformed and now helps others. Producer Ross won her doing Trivia on Game Show Radio. Well, he won us an hour of her time to help SomaCow get organized in the Martini Room. You see, this is no small task. While the room may be small (and entirely too warm), it has 6 shows worth of crap in there. I mean we have Say Anything, Just Push Play, The Lunar Room, The Sports Buzz, The Aftermath, and of course, SomaCow. We all bring in our personal items in to make the space more personal! If you ever stop by the Ustream chat and you see myself or Jen in there, ask and we shall give you the most awesomest of tours. We also talked about the difference in trying to organize women vs. men. Do women have more crap? Are they more emotional and attached to said crap? What have you seen? Are you a pack rat? So Suzanna had some great ideas. Some include: One of those industrial mirrors they use to see around corners could help you see each other better during the show. Is there an industry that large? Do whales wear cosmetics? Use a lazy susan and/or a big basket in the middle of the desks to hold the crap we keep amassing (a big lazy susan will also help you pass things to each other easily) (We have been saying maybe we need a female in the studio ) Put a basketball hoop over the trash can to add fun to your trash J (yeah, J, throw away your trash!) Hang a shoe organizer (the one with pockets) on the door to store small items – helps keep them easy to access (I guess this one is for Debe of Say Anything?) Cubbies for different shows is a great idea! You can even have fun painting them, etc. Make sure they are big enough to hold what you need them to. The Say Anything cubby is already overflowing with booze and handcuffs, and the Just Push Play cubby has apparently become Brian s new apartment. Use the half flower pots or similar items on the walls near each chair to hold pens, etc. (oh good, something else Mickey can break instead of our chairs!) We re not going to give away ALL of her secrets but she did give some good ones. She is very open to discussion and even has a message board! We also checked out this new band to the hopper: EndeverafteR - I Wanna Be Your Man

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by SomaCow! It s our anniversary, and we re glad to celebrate it with you, dear listeners. Thank you to all of you that take the time to comment the blog, write Itunes reviews, vote for us on Podcast Alley, send us mail, donate to the show, subscribe to our feeds, and join us in the Ustream channel each week. It means the world to us, and we only do what we do for the sick ego feeding your attention does provide us. Thanks for that, truthfully! In this, our finest hour, we gave away the free iTouch to a lucky listener, discussed Fair Rides, and Yet Another Way We Will All Surely Die. At last, it was time to give up the goods, and by goods, I mean the SomaCow 8GB iTouch Media Player, which we have been trying to give to a lucky listener for weeks now. The test we set up was grueling, and we thank everyone who participated. Your email addresses are being lovingly expedited to our Chinese Masters, who will surely send you plenty of offers for mortgage enlargements and Nigerian brides. Enjoy, and give all our love to Nboonswa! We launched into a topic of the Fair, which was in town this week here in Orlando. I personally am glad to have NOT attended, as I am a notorious (sucker) gamesman, and frequently (rarely) win the many games of chance made available on the Midway. We talked about one of my favorite small town rides, namely, the Gravitron. What an incredible comic-book like invention, allowing you to feel a momentary burst of super human strength as you cut a swath through terrified attendees, slamming hot dog carts aside and nerf-tossing popcorn machines. Am I confused, or have you ever felt this burst of sudden strength after riding this ride? We asked the question, no, not that question, Where have all the flowers stink gone? It seems that, in addition to the crazy exodus of bees wi-fi has allegedly been causing, now the very flowers are turning listless, their scent a fraction of what it once was. Mickey is presumably all for it, as he sees no purpose in stopping to smell the roses when there is plenty work to be done. Check out his Life Coaching at the :40, spanning the topic of Sticking to Your Guns. Peanut Buttery! We have a new producer, Ross, and he gives some great notes, specifically pulling quotes right out as they are said. I think, as a new value added addition to the value our show provides, I am going to pop in some of the better quotes at the end of these blogs. :50 - I m the crazy old guy at the crossroads, shouting, There s Death that way! " Jam to the world coming down to the following dope beats: They Might Be Giants - Ana Ng Against Me! - Sink Florida Sink

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Uncle Jones Nothin Mo Betta BBQ. The entire staff of SomaCow (except Ross, who had a date with a cube steak and his bare hands) invaded this friendly little soul food kitchen and broke bread, then seat, then stomach together in honor of J. There are no bones about it; we spend quite a bit of time discussing J in this hour, and then later we touch on J, followed by quite a lengthy dissertation by Mickey on the subject of J. J likes riddles, and so, I will simply convert this episode s blog to a series of three riddles. See if you are smart enough to come up with the answers. Try not to cheat, you silly little Googlizers! 1) - There are at least ten body parts that are spelled in three letters. Can you name them all? 2) - With pointed fangs it sits in wait, With piercing force it doles out fate, Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might, Eternally joining in a single bite. What am I? 3) - I m a riddle in nine syllables, An elephant, a ponderous house, A melon strolling on two tendrils O red fruit, Ivory, fine timber! The loaf s big with its yeasty rising Money s new minted in this fat purse. I m a means, a stage, a cow in calf. I ve eaten a bag of green apples Boarded the train there s no getting off. So, yeah. Have fun with that! We talked about J, sure, and then did a decent discussion on Mr. John McCain, who seems to need a rage doll. The man just gets into fits, and we are not so sure that is a bad thing. Better to be angry, but smart, than a complete boob. I am still pulling for Mr. Obama, as he is certainly capable of bringing eloquence back into vogue. Just look at that sentence! It REEKS of vocabulary! Hillary? Bitch, please. I hate to relegate such a powerful woman null, but the reality is that her very actions have done that FOR her for the last twenty years. Forget all the republican spewed vitriol about not pleasing her man and knowing her place . I like a strong woman. I just feel that she is duplicitous and does not have the best interest of this nation in her to do list. The woman is avarice personified, and lacks genuine empathy. Or at least, that is what I know for a complete fact, having never met the woman, nor spent any real time in her company. See, that is what I hate about the internet. Four billion yahoos yammering off their fool heads about subjects that they have no idea about. It s sort of beautiful, isn t it? Okay, Heard - We haven t really boiled it down, but - who do you want as President, and why? What is important to you now? The War? The Economy? The Food Prices? Black Preacher Etiquette? Sound off, and get into the discussion. I want to actually participate in this year s election, instead of voting the way my wife s dad tells me to. Let s hear what you think, and maybe elect the better candidate. Time Magazine turns 85, and I am lining up to be the first to pull the m f'ing plug. DNR, all the way. What a travesty, that these people are paid any money to develop news content. I have spent time in waiting rooms, flipping through that particular week s articles, and actually come away from Time Magazine DUMBER than I was about the subject when I sat down. Misinformation, second hand sourcing, and late-late-late breaking news. Time Magazine is news at the speed of fail. In fact, we d be alright with it if someone were to take Time, modern Pundits, and whoever beta tested Vista, and put them in a small room with no windows for a very long time. Oh, and Ross was booted off the mic for the very first time! Tune in to hear why, as it will probably be an answer in whatever elaborate and unnecessarily complex trivia contest we next host. You know who DOESN T have suckers on their appendages? These fantastic bands!: All Time Low - This Is How We Do Toy Gun Cowboy - 99.9%