 Honor and "The Code"
from A-Train Hockey Vlog
January 07, 2008
The donnybrook at Culver brings into sharp focus the issue of honor and codes of conduct. It also highlights the importance of having three officials on the ice at all times, but that's another story. I must start by saying that I am not speaking for my team or my son. The views expressed in this post are mine alone, but I hope they might lead to positive and constructive discussions. Most hockey fanatics understand if not appreciate the role of fighting in the sport. They understand it to be a deterrent of exceptionally vicious or careless behavior on the ice. The thinking goes that when players know they will be held accountable for their actions on the ice, they will be restrained and more often play within the rules. I don't think it always turns out this way, but I do support the use of measured force to prevent injury, to protect oneself, and to protect one's teammates. The problem is, in my estimation, that learning when and how to defend one's honor or the honor of one's team is a precarious process. While I want young men to experience the passion of a cause worth championing, I don't want them to lose the very thing which defines their character. Honor and integrity are not inconsequential concepts. In their rush to defend an ideal, they can trample it just the same. So what is honor as related to hockey? In short, I'd say it's behaving within the rules of the game as well as respecting the game itself and everyone associated with it (players, officials, coaches, spectators, etc). USA Today quotes a few rules by Ross Bernstein, author of The Code: The Unwritten Rules of Fighting and Retaliation in the NHL. Seeing as how none of these kids are in the NHL (yet), I'd like to highlight a few ideas that can help maintain dignity and honor for themselves and the game. Just because someone's chirping doesn't mean you have to take the bait. There's always going to be someone out there who wants to get into your head. He wants to make you think about something other than the game. If he can't beat you with skill and talent, he'll try to beat you mentally. Even if you end up breaking his nose, you've given him a mental victory by doing what he wanted, and you've given up a bit of your own honor.Show your superiority by demonstrating your skill as well as your respect for the game on the ice. In doing so, there is no need for embellishment. There are no words or gestures to an opposing player, bench, or official that speak louder than silence and indifference. As you bury the puck, the excitement and thrill of the moment may allow a high-five with your line-mates, but any more than that is grand-standing and unnecessary. Beating a lesser team by four or five goals is sufficient. Rubbing their nose in it, despite their taunts, is a sacrifice of your own honor. Skate to your bench, ignoring the other team quietly and your silence will deafen them. Your indifference will enrage them, and your discipline will earn you far more respect than your fists will. Measure your response. You should never, ever, double-team an opposing player who is already engaged in a confrontation. This includes piling on a player who's already down or sucker punching an unsuspecting opponent. Any confrontation needs to be face-to-face, one-on-one. If you can restrain a player to protect yourself or your teammate without swinging, you should do so. Dropping the gloves should not always be your first option.There are plenty of good players out there who feel they missed their chance the first time around, and their behavior becomes more desperate as the years advance. Until they derive self respect and personal worth from within themselves, rather than searching for it on the ice or externally, they will continue to seek it at your expense. Some people can't feel good about themselves without finding (or putting) someone else beneath them. Keeping your honor and dignity means ignoring them at times, restraining them at others, and maybe even challenging them once in a while, but all within the rules and in fairness. Too many young players are viewing fighting as honorable. In itself, it is not. How and when it is used and not used, is what brings the honor. Your head and maturity need to catch up with your testosterone and adrenaline. Meanwhile, parents must be aware of the cues we are sending our sons. We want them to be tough, and we certainly want them to be safe from injury. In our fervor to help them protect themselves, we may be sending a message that anything goes. Between practices and games these kids should be thinking about geometry, English lit, or the soc hop, not how they're going to get even with some kid on the ice, don't you think? Please, let's be mindful that what we say isn't always what gets heard. Let's talk to our kids more often about sportsmanship, honor, and respect. I am. Agree? Disagree? Hit me with a comment. Yes, anonymous comments will be accepted as long as they're cogent (or a least coherent) and do not not impugn players by name. For purists interested in the professional ranks and "The Code", here's a great written interview with Ross Bernstein: On Frozen Blog. And here are parts 1 and 2 of Josh Brewster's HockeyTalk Audio interview with the author. Just remember, they're talking about pros - not teenagers:
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