Keith and The Girl

"Does that make you cranky, or it turns you into a man?"

"I want to have sex, so I'm like, 'Can you finally pick at this? This's disgusting.'"

"I don't like any trauma, and chicks are crazy."

"We come here all the time. So eat it."

"Their show has really just turned into a countdown of when he chokes her."

"Hi. I'm Jeff. I'm a - I'm a jerkoff. It's pleased to meet you. Please don't call me Jeffrey. That's what my mom calls me when I'm trying ...

"Everybody's gotta act like a fuckin' adult!"

"I believe assholes are born not raised."

"And then suddenly I wake up, and I'm on a plane to the Dominican Republic."

"I masturbated to all these people! Who's next?"

"It's gonna take a hell of a work to get that shit outta your foot."

"I hate that fuckin' bitch of a wife that I have, and I hope that she burns in Hell..."

"I've decided to take action by checking myself into an intensive recovery program. Overcoming this problem is a top priority in my life ...