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Onion News Network

Onion News Network

The Onion News Network now has thousands of reporters in the field across the country and around the world.

Breaking Into Comedy (Clip)

The panelists share advice on how to get into the comedy business. Writer Lang Fisher suggests writing blogs and filming your own videos. A ...

Jokes That Went Too Far (Clip)

A fan asks about segments that crossed the line. Writers Lang Fisher and John Harris cite a piece that involved butchering a pig. Head ...

No Improv Allowed (Clip)

The panelists talk about the very limited amount of actor improvisation allowed in each segment. Writer John Harris says that the ...

Report: Most College Males Admit to Regularly Getting Stoked , Episode 253

Panelists discuss whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos.

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T. , Episode 252

11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner , Episode 251

Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his ...

Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: the 1993 Taurus , Episode 250

Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck , Episode 249

An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for ...

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End to Clippers Game , Episode 248

People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the ...

How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son , Episode 247

Expert stops by Today NOW to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's obvious ...

Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again by Sneezing During Meeting , Episode 246

In The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely ...

Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist , Episode 245

Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should reign in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape ...